roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
the common sense guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse:
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
- IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
- RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
5:16 PM
saw the latest Korra episode
and to think Asami was getting all that shit from such a fandom. shame shame shame…
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Pay the refs off and then cheat your way to the championship
I guess that your bending’s gone so
Now you’re just somebody that I used TahnoSomebody that I used Tahno.
Somebody that I used Tahno
SOMEBODY THAT I USED TAHNO
The Palestinian Prisoners on Hunger Strike need your Help, Please Share this Status with your friends to spread Awarness about the biggest hunger Strike in history..
Bilal Thiab … 76 Days
Thaer Halahleh … 76 Days
Hassan Safadi … 70 Days
Omar Abu Shallal … 68 Days
Mohammedd Al-Taj … 60 Days
Mahmoud Sarsak … 54 Days
Faris Al-Natur … 47 Days
Ja’far Ezz Al-Din … 53 Days
Abdallah Al-Barghouthi 32 Days
more than 2000 Prisoner …. 27 Days
Share it and don’t let the Western Media bury their case, all they are asking for is their basic rights as prisoners of war, Visitation rights, Right of education and other rights that are declared by international law
4:46 PM
- me: hey can you help me with this lab? i have to determine the length of a stearic acid molecule using these calculations
- her: yea sure *looks at paper* hey do you want to get food?
- me: sounds good *never looks at paper again, regrets it afterwards realizing she has no idea what to do next, yet worth every bite of that sandwich*
- operator: 911, please hold.
- me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
- murderer: ok
#BUT I ENJOY THE PATRIOTIC ONE AND THE METAL MAN WHEN THEY MAKE JEST #LET US ALL MAKE JEST #AND FEAST
#WHO IS THIS PHIL ANTHROPIST OF WHOM YOU SPEAK #YOU DECLARED YOUR NAME TONY STARK #NOW I AM MOST CONFUSED #AM I TO SUCCUMB TO MORE OF YOUR LIES, MAN OF IRON #I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH LIES #HAVE YOU MET MY BROTHER #ARE YOU MAKING A MOCKERY OF MY LIFE’S PERIL #BUT I SHALL LAUGH #BECAUSE THAT HIDES THE INTENSE RAGE I AM FEELING #MJOLNIR AND YOUR PRETTY FACE WILL HAVE WORDS #WORDS OF PAIN

